This holiday holds a lot of meaning for us. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. It was the day in which our son was conceived. St Pat's Day 2010. I know this because it was the day of my last IUI. It was the day I came to accept whatever outcome God had planned for me. Whether that was a positive pregnancy test or embracing the fact that I would never be able to have children on my own.
I can't explain the feeling exactly. Kind of like a calmness that washed over my body as I lay on the patient table, paper sticking to by behind. I didn't stare at the stupid inspirational poster while twiddling my thumbs and worrying. I came prepared with a book (Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential) and a clear mind. And you better believe I wore my green. I am a smidge Irish.
Not to say that that was the reason why a few weeks later the pregnancy test finally showed that damn positive sign I had wished, hoped and prayed for. I'm sure it was the calm & acceptance. You know how everyone tells you to not stress when you're trying and all you want to do is shove it back down their throat? Yeah. I've been there.
Today I will celebrate the calmness and acceptance of what lies ahead. Happy St Patrick Day, Tina