in the moment, lost in thought.

Feeling a bit of everything at the moment. I'm way more in my head than I like to be. Trying to make the right decisions for myself and my family. It hasn't been easy. I think of every scenario, the past, the present, the future. I dare not make the wrong choice because I know it will be a costly one. I thrive on change but also hate regretting things I've done wrong. These turning points in my life are always accepted but also stressful and overwhelming.  I love that I have choices. Not a lot of people do. I just wish that I could have one big huge sign or arrow that points me in the direction I need to go. A gently shove towards the path I need to follow. A life guide of sorts. And then I remember this was an issue for me the winter before last. Before him. Lot's of tears and frustration. Wondering where my  life was headed, like this very moment. Thoughts of giving up and becoming an empty-nester, traveling the world and doing as I please. Thoughts of adopting a child in need of a loving mother and father.

I've been filing things away, unfinished. Literally...I carry a file folder in my bag with unpaid bills, medical claims, notes, to do's, grocery lists, receipts to things I need to return. Point blank, I know I need to buck up. I'm an Aries for goodness sake. A ram. Head strong, perpetually moving forward, confronting issues as they come. Going back to my point about the 2 winters ago, life seemed to come together once I let go. Once I stopped over-thinking and wondering and questioning, I think hope things will become clearer.

Until then, I've been here a lot. Usually late at night when every one's asleep. Helps get me out of my head. That and Zumba with friends.   Tyler also helps A LOT. I have probaly diverted more attention to him than I should. Not meaning that we as parents shouldn't dote over our happy children but getting the important stuff done, then doting. :)

(Photobooth App on Iphone.)

XOT

***

eating: a bowl of cocoa krispies. drinking: the chocolate milk from said cocoa krispies. watching: Spouse vs. House and the baby monitor. Love seeing my booboo holding his elephant and sleeping peacefully. wearing: my favorite billabong tee and shorts. weather: a little windy and chilly. thinking: about more than I care too. So many decisions to make and chances to take. feeling: scared, overwhelmed, anxious, worried I'll make the wrong move. loving: the warmth of my dog by my feet and clean sheets.

xot.

girl looooooooves friday.

This has already been the best weekend so far.I took a personal day off just because. The clouds finally cleared and the weather is amazing. The boy and I set out early to visit my coworkers and see where mommy spends part of her day. Then headed downtown to purchase some Toms for Tyler's fat little baby feet. Mommy also found the maxi dress she's been wanting. Met up with Tyler's cousin and Auntie for the most delicious chicken saugage hot dog. The sun felt so good while we sat outside and enjoyed our lunch. New opportunities and a huge life change is in the horizon. More on that later. No, I'm not pregnant again...let's not go there. ;) I'm excited about celebrating my first Mother's Day with my son and husband. It's funny...I'm more excited about this than my past birthday. AND tomorrow is National Scrapbook Day! Could not ask for a better weekend and it's only just begun.

Paislee Press is having an awesome sale and a new release that I'm loving at the moment.

Studio Calico is hosting a plethora of challenges and give aways. I'd love for you to play along with my paint challenge!

Cheers to a wonderful weekend! xot.

***

listening: Kesha mix on Pandora. I'm really feeling pop music lately which is really out of the norm for me. eating: Emerald cocoa roasted almonds. Love these little gems. drinking: water. wearing: nothing special. jeans, black top, black flats. feeling: neutral. weather: dark and gloomy but the rain is needed. needing: shoes.  feeling these. enjoying: the photo Jeff just sent me of the little dude. wondering: what a G6 is. I feel old.

NSD is in full effect at Studio Calico. Join us this weekend for challenges, chats and tons of special give aways. Above is a little preview of my challenge. FYI, get out your paints. :)

The Dares should be up shortly with a cool prompt for your creating pleasure. Here's mine:

Happy Wednesday! xot

PS...can you all do me a favor when you post a comment? I noticed a lot of you don't include your own blog and I like to visit after reading your lovely comment. Thank you!

last minute sneaks.

May kits go live tonight! This month was so fun. I kid you not...the above 3 layouts were created in one day. This is why I love Studio Calico so much. It makes creating layouts so convenient and fun. The first image is from the main kit, Lawn Party. The second was made from the Clear Skies add on and the third is from Paper Lanterns.

Other items used that you may want to add to your cart tonight: AC pen in black. I stock up on these. Mister Huey in Warm Calico. I'm just about out of this awesome shade of gray. AC tape runner. I prefer the strips.

xot.

***

listening: watching: Pregnant in Heels. Getting a little teary-eyed when she talks about her miscarriage. And it really really really makes me want to have another baby asap. eating: a bowl of cereal. Special K w/strawberries. drinking: water wearing: black jersey skirt, gray tee and my Ugg slippers feeling: good...now that I'm home with my loves and I've made great progress on my eating habits. weather: overcast needing: an attitude adjustment. I was in a bad mood today. Right from the get go. There's been so much swirling around in my mind. Funny thing is I thought having a baby would make everything life easier. LOL. Man, was I wrong. It's not that I thought raising a child would be easy. I just thought that my life in general would be easier. That all the negative crap would just roll off my back because I finally got the baby I wanted for so long. Anything after battling infertility would be a piece of pie. Nope. The battle goes on. I am proud though, for pulling myself together for Tyler. Pre-babe, I would probably be taking 3 hour naps and stuffing my face with chocolate, ice cream and candy. I don't ever want him to feel the stress I feel while he's a young. He'll have plenty of time to deal with that as an adult. thinking: see above. enjoying: a little quiet time. Jeff's at work, Tyler's down for his last nap of the day and the dog is next to me having puppy dreams. wondering: if we'll need to find a daycare for Tyler. Jeff may have to go back to working the day shift. We're dreading it.

I missed the Sorrioso release last week due to working on my new blog. Here's a layout I created with this lovely digital kit from Paislee Press.

Love this kit. It's available at Oscraps now.

xot.

Easter weekend.

Tyler didn't get any Easter baskets or eggs but we did stimulate his little brain by driving out to Seward and going to the Sealife Center with my brother and his family. We had planned on walking around this quaint fishing town but it was pouring rain. Kind of put a damper on the day being that I had packed all my camer gear and was stoked about going down by the beach and getting some family photos. Note to self**Toms are not the greatest shoes to wear in the rain.But the drive and family time was nice and worth the wet feet and flat hair.

This is my informal welcome blog post for my new home. I'm going to have a little giveaway later this week to make it official. :) xot.

whip it.

 
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
It's not too late
To whip it
Whip it good

Love my mixed cd's from dad. Kicked off this morning with Devo, Whip It.
So appropiate for what I'm feeling right now.
Lot's of opportunities on the horizon.
Photoshoots booked, studio in the making, meetings to be had.
All good things.
And the sun, the glorious warm sun has been shining in the AK this past week which does wonders for the mind and soul.

Over the weekend, I did something I haven't done in a very long time.
I got up early Saturday morning, picked up T and met R for the most delicious breakfast at Snowcity Cafe. I can't even begin to express how much this was needed. Girl talk versus baby talk. I love my boy but I think in order to achieve that balance we all so desire, we must make time for just ourselves and our friends, even if it's once in a blue moon.

 
I squeezed in a photoshoot that morning as well.
Meet the King of Sting.

 
Just a little preview as I'm still editing away. He's an Alaskan boxer who's in training at the moment.   

And lastly...
 
That's my hand, covered in my favorite paint of all time.  Check out my project here.
 
xot. 

(awkward...I just saw that Liz Kartchner created a new website...Something Slendid. I see their slogan is "let's make something spledid" which I love but in no way meant to copy in my photo above. Anyhoo...check out the new site. It's beautifully put together and the classes look fun. I'm looking forward to the felted cupcake class.)

currents.

 
listening: Mazzy Star
eating: greek yogurt
drinking: decaf skinny white chocolate mocha/water
wearing: skinny black jeans, soft grey tee and back oversized cardi.
feeling: a little tired. sometimes I feel even more tired when I get more sleep.
weather: blue skies...it's getting warmer!
wanting: a personal assistant. have I mentioned this before?
needing: not much. would like good morning hug from the boy though.
thinking: how awkward I can be sometimes.
enjoying: my hair. I know, sounds like I'm full of myself but I actually took the time to style it rather than running a brush through it and calling it good.
wondering: why some people can go through life being so cranky. I mean, I get it...we all have our days but sheesh, this person is constantly at a low point in her life.

I had such an awesome weekend.
Bought myself a few things on my short budget. Why have I never been to Kohls before? Also bought a few more sleepers. I'm addicted to sleepers, especially ones that zip.
My facial was fabulous. Not sure why I've never had one before..well, I know why. Because I'm cheap. But this was a gift from my guys so I had no excuse. When I got home from my mommy day, Jeff met me at the door to tell me my face was glowing. Yes, he actually used the word "glowing". Made me smile.
Family time together, visit from dad, surprise package from mom, red velvet cupcakes, shrimp & grits (my bday dinner this year)...it was all low key. Just the way I like it.

Put up some new artwork in my studio.
  
I downloaded these from one of my new favorite places on the web. New to me..not the web. There's also a great read on there about being a shy photographer. Actually there's a lot of great reads on the site. I finally found a tutorial on how to use a tilt shift lens which is pretty awesome.

Guess I should get on with my Wednesday.
Thanks for all the birthday wishes!
xot.

currents...

...done a little different this midweek.

currently checking out blogs via google reader.

currently polishing off a banana and chugging it down with water. hello healthy eating and baby steps to losing weight. my trick is to chug water anytime i want something sweet which is my major weakness. so far it's working. i plan to reward myself friday with a white chocolate mocha.

currently annoyed at a certain person who always seems to bring that out in me.

currently looking for a long skirt. yes, i'm jumping on the long skirt trend.

currently excited for my hair appointment tomorrow! seriously looking like the it although i'm pretty impressed at my loosely pinned up side bun that I spent 20 mins doing this morning.

currently listening to Cake and loving it.

currently loving that it's staying lighter out in the late afternoons. can't wait for that midnight sun.

currently reading texts from my husband who informed me of a poopy diaper change.

currently finishing up a few tasks at work before heading out the door.

currently wondering what to do for st patty's day.

currently not happy this is a photoless post. oh well.

what are you currently up to today?

currents.

bringing currents back.

listening: Sublime, Doin' Time.
-not the biggest Sublime fan but I love this particular song. Makes me think of the hot sun beating down my shoulders, the smell of bbq, and the refreshing taste of a Corona with a wedge of lime.
eating: some cut up honey dew.
drinking: decaf skinny white chocolate mocha.
wearing: Gap straight jeans, black tank, black cardi, my favorite high heeled booties.
-have been wearing loads of black post-baby.
feeling: spiritual. 
weather: sunny and cool.
-although we've had some pretty good weather up here, I'm smart enough to know that this is not the official break up.
wanting: to squeeze an extra few hours out of the day.
-trying to find balance in my life right now. between being a mom, home life, office life, going forth with my own business ventures..I'm finding myself a tad overwhelmed. I'm seeing light at the end of the tunnel though and that keeps me going.
needing: a haircut.
-my bangs are hideous.
thinking: about a long distance online friend.
enjoying: the warmth of the sun I'm feeling through my office window.
wondering: how other working mom's juggle everything and keep their sanity.

 
source 

xot.

where we create.

New dare is up.
If you're curious to see where we all create, check it out.

Currently taking a much needed breather from work.
It looks as though a small wind storm as hit my desk.
Excel sheets, memos, post its and few crumbs from mystash of salt & vinegar Pringles.
Oy.

A few sneaks before I bid you adieu.

 
 

Headed back to the storm.
xot.

a layout.

We've added a new feature on the Studio Calico blog this month.
It's all about spotlighting past and present kits. 
I chose to pull out my leftovers from Back 40 which is still available in the shop...something that doesn't happen too often.
I added a little strip of my beloved circle overlay from Hambly, the photo rub ons and white Mister Huey from Studio calico....2 of my all time favorite items and a few star punches. 

Hope you're enjoying the weekend so far. Tyler's getting ready to visit his grandparent while I start on our taxes. Not fun but necessary. Keeping my fingers crossed for a nice return! Also still plugging away on the blog revamp. The banner is a temp for Valentines Day.

Ok, the boy's ready for breakfast!

xot.

currents.

listening: my dog yapping at the mailman.
eating: peanut butter cookie, freshly baked.
drinking: diet A&W rootbeer.
wearing: a well loved, broken in pair of abercrombie jersy knit pants.
feeling: content.
weather: COLD.
wanting: a crunch roll from sushiya 
needing: a pair of jeans that don't have a maternity band around the waist.
thinking: how angelic my little boy is when he's sleeping.
enjoying: the sound of Tyler's coo as he sleeps.
wondering: what his future holds.

I am currently chillin like a villain.
The boy and I are upstairs snuggled in bed because it's the warmest spot in the house.
My little chunk-a-munk went to his first party over the weekend where he was the only baby boy amongst many baby girls. It was cute to be in the presence of all these babies ranging from 6 weeks to 9 months.

We were all there to celebrate the coming Paula's second baby girl. She was radiant and beautiful and sported the familiar preggers waddle that I personally do not miss. :)

Things I'm anticipating this week? 
Getting my box of the newest release from Studio Calico which can be viewed here.
Also getting excited about my first photo shoot of 2011 this week. Can't wait. 
I'm really looking forward to getting back in the photo business. 

xot
 
 

girl sneaks in a little craft time.

 
 

I've been swapping my naptime with Tyler for a little crafttime.
I made this ornament using Studio Calico's wood veneer frames and star shapes.
Add a little white paint, some glitter and a string...instant ornament.
It took all of 10 minutes to make.
The overlay was something I created for the Dare swap. 
Check out the Dare blog tomorrow to see what everyone else created.

I'm going to blitz the blog this week with photos of my December. It hasn't been easy to hop online. Free time is usually spent doing laundry and other chores. I use to joke that laundry was never ending. It truly is never ending now days. 

Christmas is just a few days away. Are you ready? 
xot
 

girl is so in love with friday, she can't stand it.

Woohoo! My weekend is going to start in just a few hours and I'm ecstatic.
As you can see, I'm still very much pregnant which is good. My bag is packed & the car seat is firmly in place. Will I be yelling "thundercats a go" this weekend? We'll see.
And I'm comforting myself on this very cold day with the most delicious dumpling soup with a touch of spicy Sriracha sauce.  Warmed me right up. Tyler as well as he's doing a little happy dance right now. 

No plans this weekend other than taking it easy. I really would love to spend Sunday in my pjs but we'll see how that pans out. 
 
onto girl loves.

Cozy romper. Not that I could fit into this cute little number but I've always been infatuated with cute pjs. This is no exception. Reminds me of something I had as a little girl. (found A cup of Jo)

 I'm not much of a bath person but this makes me want to be one. (found wit + delight)

Easy tutorials from Pugly Pixel which I will attempt one of these days. Maybe this weekend!  
 

Happy weekend!
xot.

girl loves friday.

it's our anniversary. 11 years married. celebrating quietly at home. on the menu? steaks, crab legs, asparagus with Bearnaise sauce and Jacques Pepin style potatoes which are my total fave way to eat potatoes. 
 
that's all.
happy friday.
XOT  

Dare 170

I really like this weeks dare. Who of us hasn't taken a photo of where we're standing at the moment?
Take that photo and document it anyway you like.
Post it to the Dare's blog by the 17th of October and I'll choose the first 15 who complete the challenge for my swap.
Sorry, no international entries. Please remember that it's the first 15 who post a link to their page by the 19th.

digital elements used:
Paislee Press hello perfection sentiments.
Kitschy Digital woodgrain.
Splendid Finns masking tape.

DIY calendar from Paislee Press available today! I cannot wait to put my own spin on this beautiful calendar. 

xot

a special announcement.

The new and improved Studio Calico blog! 
Lot's of give aways and a special promotion on the Studio Calico site.

Studio Calico Reveal.

 
Did you all get what you wanted last night? Hope so.
Here are my October layouts.

my favorite as of now. I can't get enough of that stamp. I wasn't sure what to make of those window pane chipboard pieces when I first saw them but as soon as I looked at them as just empty squares, it all came together for me.
 
finally made use of all my polaroids I had printed out for past layouts.

 
and a few promos....

 
 

 
 xot :)