adventures of a new mom.

So. Let's talk schedules. I find this to be as debatable as breast versus bottle feeding. I have several friends who swear by a strict schedule. I know when they're kids naptimes are and when they go to bed at night. I know that these friends/family members will not make plans at naptime and who basically schedule their outings lives around their child's schedule. On the other hand, I know of some who tisk tisk at structured schedule. "My child will work around my own busy schedule" one mom tells me. "A schedule just doesn't work for us." Noted I thought to myself. Putting Tyler on a schedule was something I thought about throughout my pregnancy. I had decided to meet some where in the middle with the sheduling. Both Jeff and I work jobs that have a basic schedule. We're not the most spontaneous couple. You can bet that I'll be at Target Saturday mornings and Jeff at home watching football on Sundays. I decided to try the scheduling thing when Tyler was a few weeks old. I watched the clock constantly. "it hasn't been 2 1/2 hours...why is hungry again?" "he's over due for a nap...why isn't he tired?" "why does he sleep more in the day than at night?!" Watching the clock was not working for us at all. I pretty much gave in to his demands. I felt so much guilt for not doing so. Seriously, he was only born 3 weeks ago! But gradually, without even noticing until the third day of his 4th week he began to fall into a routine. He finally figured out..."hey, it's dark. tv's off. dad's snoring. guess it's time for me to sleep." I had praised the sleeping baby gods. I can't even tell you what 3 consecutive hours of sleep feels like. He wakes, he gets changed, he eats, he's out. This my friends is a great accomplishment. I feel like a true parent. Sounds silly but there were times at 3 am after being awake since midnight that I was doing something wrong. That I was failing miserably as a new mom. Silly me. This brings me to my first resolution. STOP BEING SO HARD ON MYSELF AND OTHERS. I can't compare myself to other moms. When i gave up the stress of what I'm suppose to do and started listening to my own babes needs, things all fell into place.

Next week I will write about my new mom aroma which consists of spit up & urine.Lovely, no?

xot

our gift.

 
 
 
 

 
hope your holiday was filled with lot's of love & laughter.

xot 
 
 
 

quiet time.

 
last year I started the tradition of making PW's cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. Not sure what I'm doing wrong but they never turn out very pretty hence no photo of the finished product. They were yummy though.  
The boy is down for his afternoon nap & this mom is ready for some quiet time, The house is perfumed with the scent of cinnamon. Laundry is folded.  SC assignments are done. I grab my camera for a few random shots.
 My mantle is cluttered with holiday cards. I love mail this time of year. 
Our undecorated tree. We decided to go the natural route this year. The view from our bedroom...it's been so COLD these past few weeks.

 my favorite miniature wood santa. 

 xot
 
 
 
 
 
 

girl sneaks in a little craft time.

 
 

I've been swapping my naptime with Tyler for a little crafttime.
I made this ornament using Studio Calico's wood veneer frames and star shapes.
Add a little white paint, some glitter and a string...instant ornament.
It took all of 10 minutes to make.
The overlay was something I created for the Dare swap. 
Check out the Dare blog tomorrow to see what everyone else created.

I'm going to blitz the blog this week with photos of my December. It hasn't been easy to hop online. Free time is usually spent doing laundry and other chores. I use to joke that laundry was never ending. It truly is never ending now days. 

Christmas is just a few days away. Are you ready? 
xot
 

a weekend in polaroids.

 
 
 
 
I was able to get a few hours of mommy time on Saturday. Me, the dog and my Polaroid ventured out into the cold for a diaper run as well as a little Christmas shopping which is just about done. Butters hasn't been out since the babe was born and I could tell he was feeling a little neglected. I knew a long ride and a a quick run in the snow would perk him right up. The cold, crisp air perked me up as well. 

I also snuck in a little photo sesh which didn't pan out so well. It's a bit drafty in our home and I really didn't want him naked. Plus he was a little cranky. Will try again when he's napping.

Thank you so very much for all your congrats and love. Each and every comment does not go unnoticed.

xot

girl becomes a mother.

What a week.
I was sure I would be able to jump online and let the world know my son was born but there would be none of that. I didn't bring a laptop with me and with the numerous nurses, doctors and visitors entering my room by the hour, I simply did not have time.
But here he is. A few hours old in the photo above, now 10 days old and handsome as a can be.
Things are going well at home. Some days are better than others or I should say some nights. He's a little night owl like his daddy. 

 
I feel so blessed. Even in my state of exhaustion....I couldn't be happier.
All doubts or fears I have expressed here in the past about being a mother seemed to disappear the moment Tyler was born. 
I felt confident caring for him. He quickly latched on and took me in with his big eyes.
I am completely consumed by him.
His warmth and total trust in me is almost overwhelming. 

 
This motherhood thing.
I'm in it for life and it's all so very good.
xot
 

peace. love. gratitude.

                                   (polaroid sx 70, 600 film October 2010) 

well...no baby yet! sorry, I should have posted something. I've been getting numerous "baby yet?" emails. :) I feel all your joys through those written words. I will definitely post something as soon as the day comes.

Thanksgiving is starting out quite lovely. It's quiet in my home and I'm sitting in my favorite chair watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. It's snowing out, the neighborhood is calm and I'm feeling overwhelmed with gratitude.

I have so much to be thankful for this year.
The biggest blessing of our lives, our son who will be here any day.
My blended family that has welcomed another with my brother's late summer wedding.
My friends who have been there for me through chats, emails and texts.
A hobby that has introduced me to so many other new friends.
Finding passion through the lens of a camera.
Our cozy home.
Our dog, Butters.
My best friend, partner in crime and husband Jeff who continues to amaze me with his patience and support.

Through thisyear of blogging you have read me complain about the dreaded Monday, office politics, lack of funds, the weather and everything in between. These are all so insignificant when compared to what life is really about.

Peace, love & gratitude.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Tina

girl is so in love with friday, she can't stand it.

Woohoo! My weekend is going to start in just a few hours and I'm ecstatic.
As you can see, I'm still very much pregnant which is good. My bag is packed & the car seat is firmly in place. Will I be yelling "thundercats a go" this weekend? We'll see.
And I'm comforting myself on this very cold day with the most delicious dumpling soup with a touch of spicy Sriracha sauce.  Warmed me right up. Tyler as well as he's doing a little happy dance right now. 

No plans this weekend other than taking it easy. I really would love to spend Sunday in my pjs but we'll see how that pans out. 
 
onto girl loves.

Cozy romper. Not that I could fit into this cute little number but I've always been infatuated with cute pjs. This is no exception. Reminds me of something I had as a little girl. (found A cup of Jo)

 I'm not much of a bath person but this makes me want to be one. (found wit + delight)

Easy tutorials from Pugly Pixel which I will attempt one of these days. Maybe this weekend!  
 

Happy weekend!
xot.

currents.

                                              (polaroid sx 70, 600 film)
 

??listening: to some random mix on Pandora.
eating: a breakfast burrito with salsa.
drinking: peppermint hot chocolate 
wearing: leggings, Uggs, long t, sweater, scarf.
feeling: nervous, scared, excited, not ready.  
weather: COLD.
wanting: for him to wait a few more weeks.
needing: to do some last minute baby shopping.
thinking: REALLY?!
enjoying: the excitement.
wondering: am I going to have a Thanksgiving baby?

So.
OB says it could be anytime.
ANYTIME.
I was not prepared to hear that yesterday at my check up.
What happened to my December due date?
I had maternity leave plans with work.
I have more laundry to do. Meals to make and freeze. A bathroom to remodel. Christmas shopping!
Oy.
I know, I know...you can only prepare and plan so much. I hear your thoughts as you're reading this.
I guess I was just really hoping for a baby with a December birthday.
But I don't have any control on when he'll make his fabulous debut.

Other than that, it's a pretty typical Wednesday. Just trying to stay warm!
xot.

The magic of monday.

There's really no magic. It's just another Monday but I know this week is going to fly because
1. I work behind the scenes in retail and the holidays are pure craziness.
2. I have a lot to accomplish here before maternity leave like putting together my ever growing "how to my job" binder.

I'm proud to say I scratched the majority of my to-do's this weekend. My SIL and I ventured out early Saturday to get some Christmas shopping done. Seems like everyone else in Anchorage had the same idea as this city was bustling with shoppers.
I scrapped but I only have one sneak from Studio Calico's December kit.

 

 
And I started my December Daily entitled December Love with the Busy Sidewalks add on. I'll have a peek of that later this week. I'm promising myself to keep it as simple as possible and if that means just slapping a photo printed from my Iphone and one word, then so be it.  

Let's catch up on some truths, shall we?
I left on Day 10 I think with my own truth of the day. I'll go back to the list for a bit.

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Wish I could say it was my svelte long legs or bubbly personality.
I think it would have to be my ability to give some one my honest opinion and advice. I often get asked if a certain outfit works because I will be quick to say if it does or doesn't. I will tell some one discreetly if their fly is down or if there's a booger lodged in there nose. I would hope and appreciate some one would do the same for me.

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

My stumpy swollen legs and reserved personality.

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

Says to write a letter but I'll pass. I can't think of any one particular band or artist but I do remember listening to a lot of Ingrid Michealson when I was going through my baby making/mid winter depression. But that only aided in my depression rather than helped....hmm..I do like to rock out a bit on bad days. I really like the song Respect by Pantera. Pretty heavy but I love it when I'm in a bad mood.

I'll probably think of someting better once I post this.

Alright, enough for now.
xot.

girl loves friday.

I truly wished yesterday was Friday but alas, another day here at the office.
Plans for the weekend?
Christmas shopping. Yes, I'm starting early because I may not have time after the baby is born.
Scrapping. If you've seen my mojo can you kindly tell him to get back to me? I miss him.
Laundry. The baby clothes & linens just keep on coming.
A little photo editing. Something I've been procrastinating on.
Lunch with a friend. Craving tempura shrimp.
Baking. My parents brought back the freshest vanilla beans from Tahiti and I cannot wait to use them.
Possible pedicure. I've held off because I heard they bring on contractions. My ob laughed when I told her this. She says "get a pedicure".

Onto girl loves.

Our boys name. We finally decided. Tyler Laurence Aszmus. Tyler is a compromise. When I was thinking I was having a girl, I was set on Taylor. When I think of Tyler, I think of a chill, possible snowboarder, creative, open-minded, athlete, cool with the ladies and an all around stand up kind of guy. Laurence is my father in laws name and because this is his first grandchild, I though that would be special to him. And do you know how hard it is to piece together names that go with my last name?

The "Do What You Love" series. (?Pacing the Panic Room)
One of my most favorite blogs and photographers. I really enjoyed reading this series. Hoping one day I'll get there myself. I'm thinking after Mr T is born and the coming of the new year, I will find what it is I truly love. Of course it's photography but that can take me in so many directions and I haven't quite figured out which path to take.

Hand-drawn shower invites. (Paislee Press)
The have to be the most unique and beautifully put together shower invites. I also love the idea of a book shower.

I love when some one actually takes my advice when I say "life is good, there's no need to be down". I sometimes think some people just need to hear this out loud from a friend, especially when you know they have absolutely nothing to complain about. But there are those who just roll their eyes and poopoo my optimism. Whatevs. I'm glad I could help at least one person out today.

tgif.
xot. 

currents.

??listening: The White Stripes. 
eating: about to have a bowl of frosted mini wheats.
drinking: ice decaf coffee. I woke up with a huge craving for ice coffee. The idea sounded better though, I'm not enjoying it one bit.
wearing: The only pair of jeans I can fit my big bootie into, black sweater & my fake Missoni scarf.
feeling: puffy.
weather: cold & dark.
wanting: some one to do my Christmas shopping for me.
needing: a boost of energy when I get home from work.
thinking: 4 more weeks, 4 more weeks, 4 more weeks. holy shnikies
enjoying: love.
wondering: are these Braxton Hicks contractions I'm feeling?

The shower was absolutely fabulous.
I could not have asked for a better party. It all came out as I envisioned which was kind of like a vintagy carnival type theme. Old fashion candy, popcorn machine, soda bottles, yummy food, face painting for the kids.....it was all perfect.
And of course I didn't get one photo in. Something I was afraid would happen. Ronalyn was kind enough to take photographs, you can view a few of them here. Her and her partner Paula who shot my maternity photos gifted me with the most wonderful photo book. It's amazing.
Another thing I wanted to do instead of the usual sign in book was to take a polaroid of all my guests that would later go into a scrapbook that will hold baby cards and other memorabilia.
I found that Polaroid actually makes something really similar to Fuji's instax camera and that I could find it locally here at Target. I'd so much rather pay for something here than order it online. I haven't had a chance to play with it yet but the photos are fun.

Thanks for all the anniversary love! Dinner was delicious...especially the crab legs dipped in copious amounts of melted butter.....mmmm....

xot
 

girl loves friday.

it's our anniversary. 11 years married. celebrating quietly at home. on the menu? steaks, crab legs, asparagus with Bearnaise sauce and Jacques Pepin style potatoes which are my total fave way to eat potatoes. 
 
that's all.
happy friday.
XOT  

a different kind of current.

I'm worried.
At 35wk 5dys, the boy has pyelectasis. I'm told it's fairly common in boys but I can't help but worry. I suppose this is only the beginning of many many worries for the next 18+ years.

I'm tired.
It still feels like early morning.

I'm excited.
About my baby shower this weekend. I decided to make it more of a party for all my friends and family who've supported me through the years rather than a party that focused on me.  Plus I shy away from the spotlight so this works out better for me. Good food, good people. Hopefully I'll have lot's ot photos to share with you next week.

I'm contemplating.
On next years goals. I never got to do what I wanted to do this year and that was to shoot film, preferably on a medium format camera. Teaching myself something new excites me.

I'm disappointed.
I'm sorry to say that there will not be a Girl Loves Polaroid 2011 calendar. There are certain projects that I have to cut out because I simply cannot manage to do it all. I've decided to focus on my home, my heart, my growing family and my photography business. I do still take requests though so if you would like a print of one of my photographs, don't hesitate to ask.

I'm loving.
My mellow music mix. My boyish gray and blue striped sweater. My spiffy haircut..a whole 3 inches cut off and no one even noticed. And the gentle way my niece hugged and kissed my belly yesterday. That girl makes my heart swell to epic proportions. 
 

xot

random secret revealed.

"I don't mind the weather. I've got scarves and caps and sweaters"
Sometimes all I need is a little Death Cab.

What's happening this fine Tuesday in A-town?
Snow.
And you know what? I'm ok with that.
You'd usually get a drawn out whine from me but the snow is very welcoming.
Down right beautiful I must say.
Why am I so chipper about it?
Well...I've been chipper about a lot this year.
It's pretty obvious why.
The only thing I can complain about is that is slows me down even more.
I've got to watch my step because I've become quite clumsy these days.
I'm a little winded after brushing snow off my car.
And now that I'm driving with a large basketball like belly, I'm a little...a lot more careful.
Where as I use to just rally my little studded civic.
Probably shouldn't admit that here.
Which brings me to my newest blog edition.
Random Tuesday Secret.
Which again is a play on the whole Truths thing. I find it fun and liberating to admit all of these things here.

 
I secretly want to be a rally car driver.
Crazy, no?
Not just a race car driver but one who drives on rough roads, through a wooded course.
I also have expressed to Jeff that I want to race my civic in the Fur Rondy ice race.
Because I actaully like the feeling of drifting my car through an icy turn.
Would you have ever guessed that about me?
I don't think anyone would.
That's my random secret.

Care to admit something you have tucked away in your secrets file today? Come on...doesn't have to be a deep dark secret. Just keep it light. I guarantee, you'll feel quite liberated.

xot

girl

(check out those fingers! I was not kidding you when I referred to them as sausages) 

It's that time of the week again!
And I am beyond thrilled because I am indulging in a pregnancy massage right after work.
It feels like an indulgence but it's so needed.
I've been too busy to really get in the Halloween mood but after last nights line up on NBC, I'm so ready.
Can't wait to see all the trick or treaters dressed up this year. I'm going to try and squeeze into my Merlotte's tee minus the blond wig and short shorts.

onto girl loves.

Felt. I use to collect and make things with felt. Seeing these colors makes me want to get back into it. This image is also a jump off point to a layout I'm working on.
(Etsy: Giant Dwarf)

 
 
This print which I stand by.
(Etsy: Kantan Designs)
 

 
I just think this is just too sweet.
(Blog: Snippet & Ink, Photographer: W. Scott Chester so in love with his website design)

happy weekend to you all.
xot

ps...will pick back up on my truths next week.  

currents.

 
 

??listening: The Sea and Cake. 
eating: Melon and grapes.
drinking: Water.
wearing: Nothing special.
feeling: very very tired. my eyes are so heavy this a.m.
weather: foggy, icy.
wanting: to snuggle back in bed with my 5 pillows.
needing: haircut. desperately.
thinking: about my upcoming baby shower. hope all goes well.
enjoying: the return of eggnog steamers.  
wondering: how I will ever manage.

Finally started working on the nursery. Pictured above are the only 2 items besides our crib and dresser that we have for our very non-traditional boys room. I really wanted to do something different. I was first inspired by this rug from UO.

I immediatly new this would be the color scheme. 
Jamaica was super kind and made me a quilt based on the rug.
I absolutely adore it. What a talent to be able to quilt.  
My photo really doesn't do it justice.  The backside is one of my favorite fabrics which is the teal/blue woodgrain from Joel Dewberry. LOVE.

 
The little elephant was given to me by my 3 year old niece. What a sweatheart. She and her mom where reorganizing her room and toys and she came upon the little elephant. She told her mom..."I don't need this anymore, I want to give it to Aunt Tina's baby". It's so soft and snuggly. I can't wait to have our son play with it.
These are the types of gifts I will treasure forever. It's so nice to have such supportive friends and family surround me at such a huge turn in my life.
Even my interweb friends who leave me supportive comments here and make me feel like I'm not crazy for thinking the way I do.
The text messages I get from Vee.
The emails I get from my SC friends.
It's all meaningful and taken to heart.
Thanks to all of you reading and listening.

xot

Studio Calico November Sneaks.

  
 

On sale tonight!

xot 
 
 

girl loves friday.

And cream of wheat of all things.
Had it for the first time yesterday with lot's of skim milk, bananas and brown sugar. Not bad.
Looking for more hearty things to eat in the morning so I'm not looking for more food an hour later.
This seems to do the trick for now...until I crave the next thing.
Anyway, I've hit the 33 week mark today.
Still dealing with sausage fingers, & the inevitable stretch marks. I knew it was bound to happen but whatever.
A little bummed I won't be traveling to NYC to meet up with the ladies this weekend....well...a lot bummed.
Two things I want to do the most right now is camera tote around NYC and do some actually chatting with the ladies rather than email & text back and forth. <insert deep sigh> <also insert kristi below>

 

Onto girl loves.

 
The idea of doing a December Daily. Will it happen? I really do hope so, especially with a new little one. My god, I'm scared and thrilled at the same time at the thought of having a new person in my life.

The 20/20 Cure. I'm loving these short little series. 20 minutes of whatever is all I can handle at this point without feeling winded.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Day 10: Today's Truth.

I'm going to shake things up a bit on these truths because that's how I roll. Plus I really can't think of a person who's drifted away that I would want back at this point. There are those who I don't talk with as much as I would liketo but I still consider them apart of my life.

So, today's truth is that I'm effing scared about becoming a mother. I try to play all tough and act like I can handle whatever but it's all a front. I'm scared, nervous, excited, and unsure all at once. I've wanted this for so long but I can't help but feel doubtful about myself as a parent. I've been selfish for so long, doing whatever I pleased with my time. I'm not going to lie...that time will be sorely missed. I'm not scared about the actual birth. I'm frightened of my whole life changing. I'm worried about the postpartum depression. I don't want to become the mom who forgets who she is and nixes everything she's ever loved to pour everything into her child. Will there be balance? How will handle his first day of school? How will handle his first day of daycare? So many questions I suppose will be answered when the time comes.

I am excited about meeting him though. The snuggles, the sweet new baby smell, the smiles, the way he'll look up at me with admiring eyes. At those moments, I'll know what kind of mom I will be and that the selfishness will go away because I will be consumed by him.  

happy friday.
xot

currents.

 

??listening: Ingrid Michealson
eating: nothing at the moment.
drinking: Nantucket Peach Orange juice.
wearing: you guessed it, skinny gray jeans.
feeling: a little on the grumpy side.
weather: dark, cool.
wanting: a winter coat that I can zip up.
needing: a Tums. love oj but man does it give me acid reflux.
thinking: about my tasks for the day and how much I can accomplish.
enjoying: nothing at the moment. It's too early in the morning to be joyful.
wondering: what errands I need to get done on my lunch hour.

I posted those who are in on my Dare swap this morning. Head over to the blog and check it out. Be sure to email me your mailing address no later than the 24th. My goal is to get swap goodies out by Monday.

Will hopefully have a few November SC sneaks for you this week. As thrilled as I was receiving this kit, I'm having a hard time finishing layouts. I know this is because my scrap-room is a complete disaster right now. I may have mentioned this before but it seriously looks like a room straight out of a Hoarders episode.

xot