I love love.

xot. 

under construction.

 
my blog.
my photo website.
my finances.
my life.
it's all under construction.
be back soon.
xot

wordless weekend.

 
 
  
 There's still time left for the CHA challenges some of us are hosting at Studio Calico. My challenge is to take a photo of yourself in front of a mirror/window..something that gives off a reflection of yourself, preferably something in the past week.
Mine was taken on Saturday morning with my son. Our weekend morning routine has to be one my favorite parts of the day.  

xot.  

Oh how I wish I could send every one of you a bottle of my favorite Mister Huery.
Unfortunately there can only be one winner here but that's not to say you can't get your hands on some Huey! New colors should be in the shop soon.

And the winner is.....

LOVE your messy desk as much as I love this layout! Can't wait to try the new Mister Hueys!
Commenter name: Allison Romero
Commenter email: allisonromero24@gmail.com

Please email me your info at lifelovepaper@gmail.com

Thanks everyone! You all are so awesome. :)

xot
 

I don't know what's worse.
The neighbor who mows his lawn at 11 p.m. or the one who snowblows their driveway at 6 am.
I knew it was snowing but we couldn't have gotten more than an inch.
Why this guy felt the need to snowblow that early is beyond me and extremely inconsiderate.
45 minutes before my alarm goes off, I'm awaken by the sound of a loud motor and the scraping of a shovel.
I ponder going back to sleep or just waking up.
I can't go back to sleep.
I lie there, my mind flooded with so many thoughts.
Thoughts that have been pestering me for the past few weeks.
Thoughts that I care not to discuss here.
Let's just say they involve finances, current career as desk jockey, following a dream and a shopping list.
All I know for sure is that I need to be proactive in every aspect of life right now.
That's truly the only way I'm going to accomplish anything.
Truthfully, I always expected for things to work itself out, for situations to just fall into place.
Is that me being laid back or just pure laziness?
I dunno.
One thing that I do know...the thing that is more solid than anything right now is that I love being a mom to a happy, cute, snuggly baby.
He's my light.
Cheesy, I know but I have no other way to explain it.
I rush home, wash my hands, get out of my work clothes, grab my guy and hug him as tightly as I can.
He hugs back and nestles his head in my nook.
I drink in his sweet baby smell and am overcome with relief and happiness.
He hasn't forgotten me.
That was my fear when I went back to work.
But we've established our bond and it's as tight as my skinny jeans. Even more so.
He's my guy.
He's my heart.

 
xot

adventures of a new mom.

So. Let's talk schedules. I find this to be as debatable as breast versus bottle feeding. I have several friends who swear by a strict schedule. I know when they're kids naptimes are and when they go to bed at night. I know that these friends/family members will not make plans at naptime and who basically schedule their outings lives around their child's schedule. On the other hand, I know of some who tisk tisk at structured schedule. "My child will work around my own busy schedule" one mom tells me. "A schedule just doesn't work for us." Noted I thought to myself. Putting Tyler on a schedule was something I thought about throughout my pregnancy. I had decided to meet some where in the middle with the sheduling. Both Jeff and I work jobs that have a basic schedule. We're not the most spontaneous couple. You can bet that I'll be at Target Saturday mornings and Jeff at home watching football on Sundays. I decided to try the scheduling thing when Tyler was a few weeks old. I watched the clock constantly. "it hasn't been 2 1/2 hours...why is hungry again?" "he's over due for a nap...why isn't he tired?" "why does he sleep more in the day than at night?!" Watching the clock was not working for us at all. I pretty much gave in to his demands. I felt so much guilt for not doing so. Seriously, he was only born 3 weeks ago! But gradually, without even noticing until the third day of his 4th week he began to fall into a routine. He finally figured out..."hey, it's dark. tv's off. dad's snoring. guess it's time for me to sleep." I had praised the sleeping baby gods. I can't even tell you what 3 consecutive hours of sleep feels like. He wakes, he gets changed, he eats, he's out. This my friends is a great accomplishment. I feel like a true parent. Sounds silly but there were times at 3 am after being awake since midnight that I was doing something wrong. That I was failing miserably as a new mom. Silly me. This brings me to my first resolution. STOP BEING SO HARD ON MYSELF AND OTHERS. I can't compare myself to other moms. When i gave up the stress of what I'm suppose to do and started listening to my own babes needs, things all fell into place.

Next week I will write about my new mom aroma which consists of spit up & urine.Lovely, no?

xot

our gift.

 
 
 
 

 
hope your holiday was filled with lot's of love & laughter.

xot 
 
 
 

quiet time.

 
last year I started the tradition of making PW's cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. Not sure what I'm doing wrong but they never turn out very pretty hence no photo of the finished product. They were yummy though.  
The boy is down for his afternoon nap & this mom is ready for some quiet time, The house is perfumed with the scent of cinnamon. Laundry is folded.  SC assignments are done. I grab my camera for a few random shots.
 My mantle is cluttered with holiday cards. I love mail this time of year. 
Our undecorated tree. We decided to go the natural route this year. The view from our bedroom...it's been so COLD these past few weeks.

 my favorite miniature wood santa. 

 xot
 
 
 
 
 
 

a weekend in polaroids.

 
 
 
 
I was able to get a few hours of mommy time on Saturday. Me, the dog and my Polaroid ventured out into the cold for a diaper run as well as a little Christmas shopping which is just about done. Butters hasn't been out since the babe was born and I could tell he was feeling a little neglected. I knew a long ride and a a quick run in the snow would perk him right up. The cold, crisp air perked me up as well. 

I also snuck in a little photo sesh which didn't pan out so well. It's a bit drafty in our home and I really didn't want him naked. Plus he was a little cranky. Will try again when he's napping.

Thank you so very much for all your congrats and love. Each and every comment does not go unnoticed.

xot

girl becomes a mother.

What a week.
I was sure I would be able to jump online and let the world know my son was born but there would be none of that. I didn't bring a laptop with me and with the numerous nurses, doctors and visitors entering my room by the hour, I simply did not have time.
But here he is. A few hours old in the photo above, now 10 days old and handsome as a can be.
Things are going well at home. Some days are better than others or I should say some nights. He's a little night owl like his daddy. 

 
I feel so blessed. Even in my state of exhaustion....I couldn't be happier.
All doubts or fears I have expressed here in the past about being a mother seemed to disappear the moment Tyler was born. 
I felt confident caring for him. He quickly latched on and took me in with his big eyes.
I am completely consumed by him.
His warmth and total trust in me is almost overwhelming. 

 
This motherhood thing.
I'm in it for life and it's all so very good.
xot
 

peace. love. gratitude.

                                   (polaroid sx 70, 600 film October 2010) 

well...no baby yet! sorry, I should have posted something. I've been getting numerous "baby yet?" emails. :) I feel all your joys through those written words. I will definitely post something as soon as the day comes.

Thanksgiving is starting out quite lovely. It's quiet in my home and I'm sitting in my favorite chair watching the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. It's snowing out, the neighborhood is calm and I'm feeling overwhelmed with gratitude.

I have so much to be thankful for this year.
The biggest blessing of our lives, our son who will be here any day.
My blended family that has welcomed another with my brother's late summer wedding.
My friends who have been there for me through chats, emails and texts.
A hobby that has introduced me to so many other new friends.
Finding passion through the lens of a camera.
Our cozy home.
Our dog, Butters.
My best friend, partner in crime and husband Jeff who continues to amaze me with his patience and support.

Through thisyear of blogging you have read me complain about the dreaded Monday, office politics, lack of funds, the weather and everything in between. These are all so insignificant when compared to what life is really about.

Peace, love & gratitude.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Tina

The magic of monday.

There's really no magic. It's just another Monday but I know this week is going to fly because
1. I work behind the scenes in retail and the holidays are pure craziness.
2. I have a lot to accomplish here before maternity leave like putting together my ever growing "how to my job" binder.

I'm proud to say I scratched the majority of my to-do's this weekend. My SIL and I ventured out early Saturday to get some Christmas shopping done. Seems like everyone else in Anchorage had the same idea as this city was bustling with shoppers.
I scrapped but I only have one sneak from Studio Calico's December kit.

 

 
And I started my December Daily entitled December Love with the Busy Sidewalks add on. I'll have a peek of that later this week. I'm promising myself to keep it as simple as possible and if that means just slapping a photo printed from my Iphone and one word, then so be it.  

Let's catch up on some truths, shall we?
I left on Day 10 I think with my own truth of the day. I'll go back to the list for a bit.

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Wish I could say it was my svelte long legs or bubbly personality.
I think it would have to be my ability to give some one my honest opinion and advice. I often get asked if a certain outfit works because I will be quick to say if it does or doesn't. I will tell some one discreetly if their fly is down or if there's a booger lodged in there nose. I would hope and appreciate some one would do the same for me.

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.

My stumpy swollen legs and reserved personality.

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

Says to write a letter but I'll pass. I can't think of any one particular band or artist but I do remember listening to a lot of Ingrid Michealson when I was going through my baby making/mid winter depression. But that only aided in my depression rather than helped....hmm..I do like to rock out a bit on bad days. I really like the song Respect by Pantera. Pretty heavy but I love it when I'm in a bad mood.

I'll probably think of someting better once I post this.

Alright, enough for now.
xot.

girl loves friday.

I truly wished yesterday was Friday but alas, another day here at the office.
Plans for the weekend?
Christmas shopping. Yes, I'm starting early because I may not have time after the baby is born.
Scrapping. If you've seen my mojo can you kindly tell him to get back to me? I miss him.
Laundry. The baby clothes & linens just keep on coming.
A little photo editing. Something I've been procrastinating on.
Lunch with a friend. Craving tempura shrimp.
Baking. My parents brought back the freshest vanilla beans from Tahiti and I cannot wait to use them.
Possible pedicure. I've held off because I heard they bring on contractions. My ob laughed when I told her this. She says "get a pedicure".

Onto girl loves.

Our boys name. We finally decided. Tyler Laurence Aszmus. Tyler is a compromise. When I was thinking I was having a girl, I was set on Taylor. When I think of Tyler, I think of a chill, possible snowboarder, creative, open-minded, athlete, cool with the ladies and an all around stand up kind of guy. Laurence is my father in laws name and because this is his first grandchild, I though that would be special to him. And do you know how hard it is to piece together names that go with my last name?

The "Do What You Love" series. (?Pacing the Panic Room)
One of my most favorite blogs and photographers. I really enjoyed reading this series. Hoping one day I'll get there myself. I'm thinking after Mr T is born and the coming of the new year, I will find what it is I truly love. Of course it's photography but that can take me in so many directions and I haven't quite figured out which path to take.

Hand-drawn shower invites. (Paislee Press)
The have to be the most unique and beautifully put together shower invites. I also love the idea of a book shower.

I love when some one actually takes my advice when I say "life is good, there's no need to be down". I sometimes think some people just need to hear this out loud from a friend, especially when you know they have absolutely nothing to complain about. But there are those who just roll their eyes and poopoo my optimism. Whatevs. I'm glad I could help at least one person out today.

tgif.
xot. 

a different kind of current.

I'm worried.
At 35wk 5dys, the boy has pyelectasis. I'm told it's fairly common in boys but I can't help but worry. I suppose this is only the beginning of many many worries for the next 18+ years.

I'm tired.
It still feels like early morning.

I'm excited.
About my baby shower this weekend. I decided to make it more of a party for all my friends and family who've supported me through the years rather than a party that focused on me.  Plus I shy away from the spotlight so this works out better for me. Good food, good people. Hopefully I'll have lot's ot photos to share with you next week.

I'm contemplating.
On next years goals. I never got to do what I wanted to do this year and that was to shoot film, preferably on a medium format camera. Teaching myself something new excites me.

I'm disappointed.
I'm sorry to say that there will not be a Girl Loves Polaroid 2011 calendar. There are certain projects that I have to cut out because I simply cannot manage to do it all. I've decided to focus on my home, my heart, my growing family and my photography business. I do still take requests though so if you would like a print of one of my photographs, don't hesitate to ask.

I'm loving.
My mellow music mix. My boyish gray and blue striped sweater. My spiffy haircut..a whole 3 inches cut off and no one even noticed. And the gentle way my niece hugged and kissed my belly yesterday. That girl makes my heart swell to epic proportions. 
 

xot

random secret revealed.

"I don't mind the weather. I've got scarves and caps and sweaters"
Sometimes all I need is a little Death Cab.

What's happening this fine Tuesday in A-town?
Snow.
And you know what? I'm ok with that.
You'd usually get a drawn out whine from me but the snow is very welcoming.
Down right beautiful I must say.
Why am I so chipper about it?
Well...I've been chipper about a lot this year.
It's pretty obvious why.
The only thing I can complain about is that is slows me down even more.
I've got to watch my step because I've become quite clumsy these days.
I'm a little winded after brushing snow off my car.
And now that I'm driving with a large basketball like belly, I'm a little...a lot more careful.
Where as I use to just rally my little studded civic.
Probably shouldn't admit that here.
Which brings me to my newest blog edition.
Random Tuesday Secret.
Which again is a play on the whole Truths thing. I find it fun and liberating to admit all of these things here.

 
I secretly want to be a rally car driver.
Crazy, no?
Not just a race car driver but one who drives on rough roads, through a wooded course.
I also have expressed to Jeff that I want to race my civic in the Fur Rondy ice race.
Because I actaully like the feeling of drifting my car through an icy turn.
Would you have ever guessed that about me?
I don't think anyone would.
That's my random secret.

Care to admit something you have tucked away in your secrets file today? Come on...doesn't have to be a deep dark secret. Just keep it light. I guarantee, you'll feel quite liberated.

xot

girl

(check out those fingers! I was not kidding you when I referred to them as sausages) 

It's that time of the week again!
And I am beyond thrilled because I am indulging in a pregnancy massage right after work.
It feels like an indulgence but it's so needed.
I've been too busy to really get in the Halloween mood but after last nights line up on NBC, I'm so ready.
Can't wait to see all the trick or treaters dressed up this year. I'm going to try and squeeze into my Merlotte's tee minus the blond wig and short shorts.

onto girl loves.

Felt. I use to collect and make things with felt. Seeing these colors makes me want to get back into it. This image is also a jump off point to a layout I'm working on.
(Etsy: Giant Dwarf)

 
 
This print which I stand by.
(Etsy: Kantan Designs)
 

 
I just think this is just too sweet.
(Blog: Snippet & Ink, Photographer: W. Scott Chester so in love with his website design)

happy weekend to you all.
xot

ps...will pick back up on my truths next week.  

Studio Calico November Sneaks.

  
 

On sale tonight!

xot 
 
 

girl loves friday.

And cream of wheat of all things.
Had it for the first time yesterday with lot's of skim milk, bananas and brown sugar. Not bad.
Looking for more hearty things to eat in the morning so I'm not looking for more food an hour later.
This seems to do the trick for now...until I crave the next thing.
Anyway, I've hit the 33 week mark today.
Still dealing with sausage fingers, & the inevitable stretch marks. I knew it was bound to happen but whatever.
A little bummed I won't be traveling to NYC to meet up with the ladies this weekend....well...a lot bummed.
Two things I want to do the most right now is camera tote around NYC and do some actually chatting with the ladies rather than email & text back and forth. <insert deep sigh> <also insert kristi below>

 

Onto girl loves.

 
The idea of doing a December Daily. Will it happen? I really do hope so, especially with a new little one. My god, I'm scared and thrilled at the same time at the thought of having a new person in my life.

The 20/20 Cure. I'm loving these short little series. 20 minutes of whatever is all I can handle at this point without feeling winded.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Day 10: Today's Truth.

I'm going to shake things up a bit on these truths because that's how I roll. Plus I really can't think of a person who's drifted away that I would want back at this point. There are those who I don't talk with as much as I would liketo but I still consider them apart of my life.

So, today's truth is that I'm effing scared about becoming a mother. I try to play all tough and act like I can handle whatever but it's all a front. I'm scared, nervous, excited, and unsure all at once. I've wanted this for so long but I can't help but feel doubtful about myself as a parent. I've been selfish for so long, doing whatever I pleased with my time. I'm not going to lie...that time will be sorely missed. I'm not scared about the actual birth. I'm frightened of my whole life changing. I'm worried about the postpartum depression. I don't want to become the mom who forgets who she is and nixes everything she's ever loved to pour everything into her child. Will there be balance? How will handle his first day of school? How will handle his first day of daycare? So many questions I suppose will be answered when the time comes.

I am excited about meeting him though. The snuggles, the sweet new baby smell, the smiles, the way he'll look up at me with admiring eyes. At those moments, I'll know what kind of mom I will be and that the selfishness will go away because I will be consumed by him.  

happy friday.
xot

blogging with sausage fingers.

dude...my fingers are so swollen today! This is insane and the feeling is indescribable. I'm typing with pork sausages right now. Are you picturing it? Funny, no?

My weekend flew by as usual. Two days just isn't enough. I'm sure back in the day weekends were meant for rest but as we progressed into dyi'ers, travelers, sport & hobby enthusiasts, weekends have turned into "do the things you wish you were doing during the work week."

I had the pleasure of photographing a couple for their maternity shoot. Drove an hour and 45 minutes outside of Anchorage all the way up a mountain but it was so worth it. Hatchers Pass was breathtaking and although the old gold mine was closed for the winter season we were still able to find spots to shoot. And there was snow! I was worried about that since my vehicle isn't winterized yet but luckily the roads were dry. I can't imagine driving all the way uphill on winding roads in the dead of winter. Scary. Here's just a few shots, I'll probably post more this week because I loved how they all came out.

 
 
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poop.

 I could easily name off a few girls who made my adolescent life hell but they mean nothing to me now. There really isn't a single person I could fit into this category though. I mean, there are of course those who give me difficulties and maybe cause me to have a bad day here and there. For example a grumpy coworker who likes to impart her misery on everyone else in the office because her life is so miserable. But no ones made my life hell. I would never let anyone make my life hell or even give them that kind of satisfaction. Not happening. I also don't allow anyone to treat me like poop. Again, you come across certain individuals that feel like they need to disrespect or be mean to some one for there own satisfaction but that's something I've learned to nip in the bud either by expressing my feelings to there face or dumping them as friends or acquaintances.

It took me awhile to get to this point in my life. It all became clear right around my 30th birthday. I just didn't care about those who brought on any type of negativity to my life and I tell you what...the load off my back got a whole hell of lot lighter. And as I get even older it gets easier to let these things go.

xot

girl appreciates friday.

..."the spider man is having me for dinner tonight"...
starting my morning right with a little Cure which is weird because I'm not the biggest Cure fan but I do love that particular song.
I'm going to indulge in a little pregnancy sob sesh and complain that my back is KILLING me. I want to be adjusted but I know that's a no no. My massage isn't until the end of month. Boo. Guess I'll have to rely on my man but it's just not the same as getting one from a licensed massage therapist.
My boobs itch.
I'm eating Jello with bananas and raspberries for breakfast.
Ok, sob sesh over.
Oh wait, one more thing to complain about....staff meeting this a.m.
OH how I do love a staff meeting.

Onto girl loves.

Stella's maternity look. LOVE. That's all I've been wearing these days. Camel and Gray.
(found Pretty Mommy)

 
Must. sit. down. the cuteness is overwhelming me.
(~>O<~)

 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Hands down, my husband who is my bff.
He came into my life the same month my mother left and if I didn't have him those first few years of dealing with huge family changes, I really don't know where I would be today.
Him, the star Varsity basketball player.
Me, a giggly JV basketball cheerleader.
I spotted him first. I made the first phone call which was made on one of those old Swatch dual phones. My bf at the time listened on the other end and commented on how deep his voice was.
He asked me "out" which was basically being boyfriend/girlfriend.
That was January 20th 1993.
We've been together ever since.
Our friendship has lasted all these years and continues to grow.
Don't get me wrong, we have our off days.
But all in all, it's been an amazing 17 years of growing up together, going through some really sh*tty times, revelling in the really good times and taking on everything in between.
Do I consider him my soul mate? I don't know..the idea sounds cheesy to me especially when you're 14 years old but I do believe we were meshed together by a higher power. 
We're like magnets. You try to pull them apart and they just stick right back to each other.
That's us.
xot